thom space

I am looking at my computer screen thinking about all of the things that I need to be doing at this moment that do not involve looking at my comuter screen. I am glad that no one ever looks at this jornal because it means that I have no reason to write anything that I don’t feel like I should write. I need to work harder to learn spanish. I think that I might try to write in spanish in this journal so I may have a reason to work harder. I think that if I take away my options to speak english I will stop speaking english. It is to bad that it is so dang easy and useful. Sometimes it seems silly to me that I struggle to say something that I could communicate under my breath without a bit of thought in my native tounge. Everything that I think, that is not in spanish hurts my ability to learn spanish, for instance the fact that I am writing about what I need to do to to better myself is infact hurting myself, ain’t it a kicker.

I have advanced to far to fast. Right now I am in a advanczado 2 which is really really far along in the process. In my class are people who had 4 years of college spanish as well as people who otherwise just really seem to know there stuff. I have such a desire to know my stuff but it is not a strong enough desire it seems for me to learn my stuff. I hope that my present frustration will be the lead in to me learning much more in the next few days and weeks. I really wonder if I am even capable of this at the present time. I think I am, but who knows. I feel so mixed up inside it’s driving me a little bit loco.